They Call 'im Cowboy
by Forkhead
Summary: Modern day. One-Shot. Les runs away to visit Jack Kelly in Santa Fe, but is shocked to find his hero living in a duplex without so much as a dog. When he hears what happened between Jack and Sarah he begins to realize, we're all human...


**A/N: I don't own anything. **

**I don't own Newsies, I don't own Jack, Les, David, or anyone else. I don't own crappy apartments. I don't own PB&Js and Nes Quick. I don't own Sears, or Best Buy. I don't own Lord of the Flies. I don't own anything in this story except the way it all falls together.**

I stand in the street staring at the slip of paper with the address on it.

This is it.

I walk up the driveway. There are two doors, side A and B. I look at the paper again and double check which one it is.

I knock on side B and wait. I can hear a dog barking but I can't tell which side of the duplex it's coming from. I can sort of see someone moving in the dark window and I try to squint through and see who it is but they disappear.

The rusty mailbox next to the door still has the name "Fitzhugh" on the front in peeling gold letters. I got my finger on the 'z' trying to make the left corner stick when the door opens a little.

"Hey Les..." Jack Kelly says looking me over hard, "What're you doin' here?" His eyebrows are all shoved together over his eyes.

"Hey Jack!" I grin, "No reason. Just wanted to see what you were up to is all." Pretending I belong here in Santa Fe until he calls me out.

Jack swings the door open all the way and I step inside. It's hot and sticky inside, like he doesn't have A/C.

"How ya get my address?" He asks shutting the door.

"The box my birthday gift came in last month."

He laughs. It's a darker laugh then I remember.

"So uh... You wanna eat or somethin'?"

"Sure," I smile. It's good to see him. "I'm almost always hungry now. Mama said that the Jacobs boys eat like locusts when we're twelve. David was just like me that when he was my age."

Jack gives me a small smile.

"You look a little taller. So, PB&J and chocolate milk okay?" He asks.

"Yeah,"

He motions for me to sit on his tiny couch, in his tiny living room, in front of his tiny TV. I start shoving Sears and Best Buy catalogs over while he crosses the small room and enters the kitchen. Which is really the same room but with a little counter between me and him.

Jack pauses and looks at me for a minute before opening the fridge door with a pop.

"So Les, ya like grape jelly okay?"

"Sure,"

Jack nods slowly and looks at me again. He's still trying to figure why I'm here.

"You prefer Strawberry? I got both."

"Whatever you're having,"

He shrugs and shoves his hand through his greasy hair. It's longer then I remember it.

"So uh, how'd you get here?" He asks disappearing behind the fridge door.

"Bus,"

The fridge is covered with pictures printed on computer paper. My family, all our friends. The pictures right by the counter have pink speckles on them from water making the ink smear.

I notice one picture, a real picture like you pick up from the one-hour photo or something, is of Sarah and him. They're smiling and he has his arms around her.

He straightens up holding a jar of jelly in one hand and a jug of milk in the other. He keeps looking at me hard. He finally turns into his kitchen and shoves the fridge door shut with the heel of his sneaker. I don't know why he wears shoes inside, but he always has. Maybe he's still jumpy, like that way he can always run if he needs to.

"You miss New York yet, Jack?" I ask.

He pauses with his hand on the peanut butter lid. "Sometimes, kid. Mostly I just miss you fellas." He flips the plastic lid onto the counter and starts slapping the peanut butter onto the white bread.

"How's uh, how's you're family doin' anyway? I mean I get all the e-mails and announcements and all but how they doin'?"

I shrug, "David's getting good grades at the university, our parents are real proud."

"Yeah," He nods at his cabinet door as he works on slicking the jelly over the peanut butter, "How's your sister though? David don't tell me about Sarah. She got a guy?"

I sorta kick at the crate he's using as a coffee table. "Yeah. She's got a guy."

I watch Jack's back as he stops moving. Just standing there with his knife inside the jar and his forehead on the cabinet door.

"Do I know 'im?" He asks the fiber board.

"Naw, he's from her new job. John Parker."

"What's he like?" He asks softly.

"I don't know. He doesn't come over a lot. Papa doesn't like him, says he's not good for her."

"Really? He don't hurt her?" Jack turns around, his eyes flashing with hate for this guy he never met.

I've only seen him get that look three times before.

Once when I was nine and the Delancey brothers jumped me and Sarah on our way home from school.

Once when I was ten when David and him got real mad at each other and David told him he wasn't good enough for Sarah.

And the last time right before he left six months ago for Santa Fe. I don't know what happened that made him that mad that time, but I'm sure it was something to do with Sarah again.

"He hurt her don't he? Don't he?"

"No, Jack." I say. "He's real nice to her. He just doesn't think Sarah should go to school and Papa wants her to."

Jack nods and closes his eyes then slams his forehead on the cabinet. We sit silent for a minute.

All I can hear is that stupid dog still barking.

He starts putting all the jars away avoiding my eyes.

"So, uh, how's everyone else, huh? Spot and all them?"

"I don't know. They don't come over now that David's at the U."

He nods and keeps his face away from me. He pulls down two plastic cups and fills then with milk before spilling some Nes-Quick into them.

"So why ya here?" He finally asks. "I know it ain't just to say hi. You came a long way, why ya here?"

I stare at my hands for a minute.

"With David gone and all I don't got no one to talk to-"

"Les, that's not it and you and I both know. You coulda gone across town to Race or somethin' if ya just needed to talk. You tell me why you're here,"

I glare at him as he comes into the living room leaving the food.

"Tell me and don't lie, you and David are real smart I know, but I'm smart enough to tell when you're lyin', why ya here?"

I can feel the tears pressing on the back of my eyeballs, but I'm too old to cry. I can't cry in front of Jack. I can't.

"Why ya here, Les?" He says, his voice getting louder. "Tell me!"

"I thought you mighta become a real cowboy!" I yell. "I wanted to see if you made it, I wanted to see if you had really been able to do it!"

Jack's face jerked back.

"How could ya think I'd be a cowboy in this crappy place?" He snaps, "Didn't the 'B side' make you realize it wouldn't be a ranch? Didn't when you got outta the bus in the city tip ya off? Did ya think I had a few horses in the back yard? Sometimes you Jacob's got no brains. None at all. I doubt you're as smart as you think you are."

We're glaring at each other, him standing and looking way down on me. Me sitting and glaring up at his stupid face. His stupid bandana. His stupid everything.

"Nobody wins their dream, Les." Jack's voice was quiet and hard, "Nobody 'cept rich folks. That's why the rest of us just run. Run and hope it's far enough that no one will follow them and see them fail."

The stupid tears shove past my eyes and start slipping down my face. My stupid baby-face. I look like I'm six when I cry.

"What about the school strike? What about all ya told me about?"

"It's a lie Les, no one can win. Not for real. That was a kid thing. Protesting three years ago got me no where today." He closed his eyes and hung his head. "I'm still just trash. Just now I'm twenty, and alone. Not even you guys behind me." He sits next to me and when he looks up I start crying even harder. His eyes are red and his face is wet.

My hero, Jack Kelly, is crying.

"Don't push people away Les, okay? Never do it. If you and David aren't getting along or something make up with him. And get a good education. Being a highschool drop out get's ya no where. Really. If you wanna get ya dream ya can. You can, you just gotta work at it. You gotta have family behind you and ya gotta be smart."

"But we're behind you Jack! All of us." I can hear my voice cracking as I'm talking and I wish it'd stop, "David, me, Mama and Papa, Klopp, Blink, Mush... We're your family right?"

He looks at me right in the eye.

"You don't know why I'm here, do ya?"

I stare at him through my tears. I shake my head no.

He sighs and shakes a cigarette out of a pack and lights it before he looks at me again.

His face is still dark, tears still shining on his stubbly cheeks.

"Me and Sarah were gonna have a baby, did ya know that?"

I shake my head no. It makes since, though. Now I can't believe I didn't understand when I heard all of them talking before.

"But she, uh, she and I got in a fight real early in the pregnancy. You remember that night me and Dave came to your house real wasted?"

I nod. It was pretty freaky, David kept laughing at everything and he tripped over our kitchen chairs and passed out right there on the stick-on tile.

"Did Sarah get mad at you?" I ask after we sit in silence for awhile.

"Yeah," He sighs and pulls his cigarette towards his lips but doesn't smoke it, he starts talking instead, "You're sister's a good older sister, ya know? She was afraid I was going to ruin your brother, with my uh, my street ways. Said I should stay away 'cause soon I'd mess you up too."

He closes his eyes and flicks the ashes from his cigarette before taking another long drag.

"I shoulda let 'er have her way. Her bein' pregnant, and all." He wipes his free hand over his face, shoving the tears off.

"But I didn't, and I kept pushing her to apologize right there. It's my fault that she got so worked up. It's my fault she got too upset for the baby and... And the baby..." He throws the cigarette filter into the ashtray and lights another, "The baby couldn't handle the stress. It came too soon. Way too soon. It was so tiny it didn't even look real--" He starts really crying.

Jack Kelly, siting on his worn couch, in his crappy duplex in Santa Fe, crying.

"Did she... Did she blame you?" I ask starting to piece it all together. Sarah had stayed in her room crying for days, David said it was just because her and Jack had a bad fight but even for what little I know about love that didn't seem right.

"She didn't say she blamed me," Jacks says, "But she musta. I know it's my fault. That's why I had to get outta there. Did you know my mom died givin' birth to me?"

I shake my head.

"Yeah, well she did. I guess I'm not good with pregnant women." He gives a stiff laugh, "David says it's not like that and he doesn't blame me so we keep e-mailing and all..." Jack closes his eyes again and I can see he has little wrinkles by his eyes. Not much, but there.

"I shouldn'ta told ya, if Sarah didn't tell you, she didn't want ya to know." He shoves his tears off his face again but he looks better.

I wonder if he's ever really talked about what happened before.

"That stuff your parents say, don't mess around till you're married, get a good education, don't drink too much, be forgivgin', you know? It's real. I didn't think so, but look at me. Twenty years old with no future, no family, and the only girl I ever loved goin' around with that Parker mug." Jack shoved his greasy bangs out of his eyes, "Learn from what I've done wrong Les. Please. Don't let my life be a waste."

We sit silently for a while. He's being dramatic, I know. But he needs someone to talk to. He needs some one like David.

"You got friends here?" I ask.

His eyes jerk open and gives me this look. "No." He spits.

I blink.

He swallows and softens a little, "No I don't really. I'm too fast for this city. And too slow and worthless in the country." He rubs his face again. "I don't belong here. I'm a New Yorker."

"Really? You're gonna come back?"

He shakes his head, "I can't kid. I can't go back."

"Why not? We miss you! Mama was just saying how she missed having you over for dinner."

"No, I can't. Maybe I'll visit sometime. Sometime when Sarah won't be there." He nods, "Yeah, maybe I'll come in a year, or so. If I can get a good ranch job."

I stare at him. He's not going to come back. Even though he knows he belongs, he won't come back.

"Why can't you move back to New York?"

"It's a matter of honor, kid. A loser like me ain't got much more than that."

"Honor?"

"Yeah," Jack nods.

He's a coward.

The realization hits me hard. I lean my head on the back of his couch and look up at the yellow smoke stained ceiling and just let that seep into my brain.

"You don't have honor in running away from your problems." I say, "I'm going back to New York. I'm not too prideful to admit I was wrong for coming here."

He looks at me like I slapped him.

"Should I call David, or do you want to?" I ask.

"Uh... I'll call 'im." He mumbles standing and searching for his cordless. It's under a pile of clean, unfolded clothes. He leans on his counter and picks up one of the forgotten sandwiches. He stands there chewing thoughtfully as he dials the number.

"Hey-ya Davey," He says his mouth full of peanut butter, "Yeah, yeah, he's here, that's why I'm callin'... Uh, the bus I think... I dunno, he looks fine and all... What time'll ya be here?... Yeah, oh Davey," Jack's voice gets softer but I can still hear him, "Why didn't you tell me about Sarah's new boyfriend?... Les told me... I know I did, but--...I know. I know.... I know!" Jack shoves his hand through his hair.

"Alright Dave, I get it. But it was hard for me too. We were too young to bury a son... She said I was corrupting you Dave! I had to get outta--... Fine Dave. Fine. I'll just talk to you when ya get here."

He slams the receiver onto the counter. Again and again before he finally chucks it across the room.

I don't want to move. I don't know what he'll do.

I don't know this man. I was stupid for coming.

He stands with his hands pressed onto the counter for a while then he finally pushes off.

He picks up the glasses of milk and the PB&J that's left and brings it over to me.

"I'm sorry Les," He says, "I'm not what ya remember, huh?"

I shake my head. I should lie, I should tell him he's fine as he is, but I don't want to. I'm mad. He was supposed to be Jack Kelly, above all this kind of thing.

I'm so wrong sometimes it's not funny.

"What time'll my brother get here?"

"He uh, he said that he'll find a cheap flight and get over here as soon as he can. Ya might have to spend the night here, but he'll try to get here soon."

I nod and take a sip of the gritty un-mixed chocolate milk.

The only noise is that stupid dog.

"Can I watch TV?" I ask.

"No, it's broken."

"Oh."

The dog keeps barking.

"Is that your dog or...?"

"The neighbor's."

"Oh,"

That dog is going to bark it's voice box out.

"Where do ya work now?"

"The convenience store down the street. It's right next to the coin laundry."

Some hero.

Some cowboy.

"Is this really better then coming back? Living alone without even a dog or nothing?"

He shrugs and sips his milk before making a face and getting up.

"You need a straw or something to mix your milk up?" He asks.

"Sure,"

We sit in silence again. Listening to that stupid dog and now someone mowing their lawn.

"Did you even try to work as a cowboy?" I ask as he comes back with the straws.

"Yeah, Les. I did. Didn't work out, I'm not strong enough. I guess." He sniffs.

"So you just gave up? You quit like that?"

"Listen, it's not that easy! I tried ya know? I really tried! I don't need some brat to come in here and tell me I'm a loser. I already know that. I don't need you tellin' me."

He slides down on the couch and puts his boots on his crate coffee table and pouts.

I swear he's pouting like a little kid.

Jack Kelly.

Cowardly brat.

You can't trust your heroes.

* * *

It's 7 in the morning and I'm siting up on Jack's couch reading Lord of the Flies. David should be here soon. He flew red eye on the first plane anywhere near Santa Fe and said he'd be landing at six and would be here as soon as he could get a taxi.

"Hey kid, you sure got up early." Jack says coming in from his bedroom.

I shrug and keep reading. The fat kid was hoping Ralph wouldn't tell the other boys about his nickname, 'Piggy'. Ralph did anyway. Poor Piggy.

Heroes and friends mean nothing.

I hear a knock on the door then. I shoot up and run to the door throwing it open to see David.

"Hey there--"

I cut him off by hugging him as tight as I can.

David laughs and hugs me back.

"Wow Les, didn't think you missed me so much." David grins at me as we break apart. "Oh hey, Jack." David leans over and shakes hands with Jack.

They stopped spit shaking a while ago.

"So Davey, how was your flight?" Jack ask leaning lazily on a grungy once white wall.

"Fine, fine. Tiring, but fine." My brother says smiling his hand resting on my shoulder.

"So I guess you guys should go ahead and leave, huh?" Jack says itching his stomach through his t-shirt.

I watch my brother as he stares at his friend. His mouth pulls into an annoyed line.

"Do we have to? I'm rather hungry, and hoped we could all get breakfast."

"I don't got no eggs or nothin'." Jack says.

"I wasn't asking you to make us breakfast, Jack. I was just thinking we could go out and get some at the iHop or something. I'll pay if you'll drive."

"My car's outta gas,"

David sets his jaw and nods.

"Alright. Do you want to pay and I'll get the taxi?"

"I just don't think it would be such a good idea," Jack says yawning.

"Well then, I guess me and Les will go. You need to use the bathroom or anything?"

I shake my head and go get my stuff. "Ready when you are," I say my hand waiting on the door knob.

"You should come visit, Jack," David says.

"No. I can't go back. Not some place where I'm unwanted."

"God Jack, sometimes you're worse then a four year old." David pushes out a small smile but it's only met with a glare, "You're wanted Jack. You should know that. Has Skittery gotten a hold of you yet?"

"No,"

"Well he needs you to sign a release form, his photographs are going on display at one of the little art galleries. 'Life on the Streets'. It's a bit cynical sometimes but it's really good. If you don't sign it only about half of his picturers could go up." David grinned. "That or maybe he could stick a smiley face over your head."

"Or one of those black bars over the eyes. You think that'd be good enough?" Jack glares at my brother, "I'm not gonna let my face be up with the label street rat, good for nothing."

"Jack, it's not like that. You should know that Skittery wouldn't be asking you to do something like that."

"I don't know nothin'. I thought I knew I was safe in New York once your family came along but I was wrong. I thought I knew Santa Fe would keep me safe but I was wrong about that too. I used to think my dad would keep me safe but I was sure wrong there. I'm tellin' you David. I know nothin'."

"Yeah, you know nothing." David shrugged, "But I know something, and I know that you have a family who loves you in New York. Les came all this way to see you. That has to be something."

We all stand in silence and I can hear that stupid dog is barking again.

"Does Sarah love this new guy?" Jack asks quietly.

David sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. His short clean hair.

"Sarah isn't the only one in New York city you know,"

"Does she love this guy? This Parker?"

David rubs his eyes with this his palms and nods. "Yeah, Jack. Yeah, she loves him. But she still loves you. You'll always be like a brother to her and--"

"I don't want to be a brother, Davey, I love her! And I don't want to have to be in that city with her on the arm of that bum. Will you two just go? I just can't go to the city. Alright?"

"Fine, if that's what you really want I can't argue with you," David says, "But I hope you know that what happened didn't change what was between you guys. It changed you."

David opened the door, and we left, leaving Jack Kelly all alone.

* * *

I'm in my room, doing my homework. I can hear David and Papa laughing about something. David visits almost every weekend now. I guess he still feels bad about how things turned out with Jack. It almost two months ago. I'm working on a stupid math problem. The same one I've been working on for the last half hour.

I hear the phone ring, and then I hear my dad answer the phone, "Hello?" He says.

Silence.

"Yes, yes he is. Les!" He hollers.

"If it's Aaron, tell him I'm busy!" I holler back.

"It's Jack,"

I freeze.

I hear David say something real low.

I jump up and go to the door. My dad is muttering something back just as I open it.

"–he needs it," Papa was saying.

I take the phone from him. I ignoring the pinched look on David's face.

"Hello?" I say, turning my back on David and Papa.

"Hey," Jack says slowly, then nothing. Nothing for a solid thirty seconds.

"Why'd you call?" I ask finally.

"Well, uh, Les. I was... I wanted to tell you that, I, uh, I'll be in New York next month."

"Yeah?" I say.

"Yeah," I can hear him sucking in breath like he's sucking in courage. "I signed that thing for Skittery, I'm coming up for the show."

"Really?" I turn slightly so I can see David. He raises his eyebrows, wanting to know what's going on. My dad gives me the same look.

"Yeah, and I uh, I wanted to know if maybe you and Dave wanted to get that breakfast I bailed on? My treat?"

I nod like an idiot, "Sure,"

"How have you been, Les?" He asks then.

"Fine. Good. School is good."

"That's good," He says with a laugh. "How about your family?"

"Mama and Papa are good too, so's Sarah." I say, "David is still mad at you."

"Les," David glares.

There's silence on the other end of the phone again.

"Tell him I'm real sorry. Tell him I wanna have that breakfast, okay? And say hi to all the fellas for me, will ya?"

"Sure,"

"And... And say hi to Sarah for me, too alright? Tell her... Tell her I hope she's happy. Really."

"Okay, Jack."

"Thanks. I'll call you when I know when my flight's comin' in, okay?"

"Okay," I say.

"Oh, Les?"

"Yeah?"

There's another pause. David is giving me an impatient look. He wasn't to know what's going on. So do I.

"I'm sorry I'm not what you thought," Jack says finally.

I suck in a deep breath.

"You are now."

**A/N: Thanks to anyone who this! Now please, please, please review?**


End file.
